Blarghh Rant

First and foremost, I have not gotten much sleep or exercise in the last two or three days so maybe that's what putting me in a bad mood, but nevertheless I feel GRRRR!!!

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J!IhU!UH!UH!!H!HVFC!V!!!!!!!!

I think that I'm still overly self conscious.

I doubt anything I say holds any merit or captivates anyone.

Some people make me feel like crap and some people make me feel like I'm amazing. But the people don't need to say anything to make me feel how I do.. and I tend to remember feeling like crap more than feeling prideful of myself.

I don't think I'm enjoying life much right now. Yeahh, there's school. I don't think I smile as much as I used to, or I feel very comfortable around what used to be my chill I feel comfortable around you friends. I want to write it off as "I just dont care much anymore" and start doing crazy things, but NOOoOOooOO, I really do care a lot, and maybe because of that (or linked to that fact?) I'm overly self conscious and no fun to be around.

I used to say a lot of things, and now either I have no audience or don't like my audience. Picky, aren't I?

BlehH!!GH!H!! I like last summer.

I made some good friends, actually had my first relationship and everything was so nice and happy. But now school has started all again and all those friends? they go to another school. The great relationship? we broke up and I don't think we'll talk much ever again... I think I went all clingy and pushed the person away from that... I regret it so much.

I feel like I acted out of character. Then again this never happened before to me so I can't really say what would have been in character. It was a very... learning experience I guess. But I was really happy too. And now I'm not. -.- Grrrrrrrrrrr

It's hard to meet new people when you go to the same school everyday, don't do much other than that, and aren't very involved. I just never felt like it and I don't think I ever will feel like it. On the bright side I should be getting my driver's license this year, whoopee.

Either I unconsciously distance myself from people or they distance themselves from me.. either way I feel pretty lonely and I feel like I'm complaining about something with a really easy fix. -.- Like, just talk to someone I haven't in a while or something. I just don't feel like it anymore, though.

Oh, well. It's Tuesday... and that means WoW might get patched, yaaaaay. -.- I have such a shallow life. Bleh. And hey, I make good grades and am reasonably good looking (of course, that doesn't help when I'm stuck in the past and don't really like talking to people as much as I used to >:O).

I believe today will be a good day. I think. I got all of this out on paper (?) before my day really started anyway, so all this suckyness is probably out. And I think I just need a good hour run and sleep. Oh yes... sleep.